No Take Backs

I'm no genius but I do have a pretty good memory. I have said that my good memory is a big reason why I'm chronically nostalgic. There is a negative side to it. About 10 or 12 years ago I started wondering that if I could undo some of my past acts, irresponsible or just plane unwise past acts, how many various incidents would there be, total? I should specify that I'm not referring to goofy stuff that today brings on a chuckle. I'm talking about truly dumb sometimes meanspirited occasions that now make me wince in recollection. Some of these incidents are almost 70 years ago. Nevertheless, I now find them so embarrassing that I will not speak of them.  

After about a week or so of first considering this question, I had recalled about 5 or 6 occurrences that fit my criteria. That's not so bad, I figured. Well, over the decade or so since, that number has climbed. I would be reminded of some long ago incident and think to myself, well, there's one more to add to the list. I'd say that list now numbers somewhere between 50 and 100. To be clear once again, I'm not talking about farting in a crowded elevator or discovering my unzipped fly in public. I'm talking about acts, most of which could have gotten me into serious trouble or caused severe injury. The remaining ill-conceived exploits were moments of mean, even cruel behavior that caused emotional pain to others, at least they may have had that effect.

On a positive note, about 90% of these incidents were perpetrated before I was 25-years-old. Some of them, when I was a little boy. Like that time at age 10 when I was a split-second late releasing a firecracker with a burning fuse. Though I kept it secret, the fingers on my right hand were numb for a week after that piece of idiocy. Yes, it was the act of a goofy kid, but I still remember sitting in my 5th grade class and trying to hold a pencil with those slightly swollen fingers. If I could undo those few seconds, I would. More egregious was that time in the 8th grade when walking down a school corridor, classmate Kay Hinton smiled and said hello to me. What did I do? I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at her. Pure imbecility that can never be undone. Make no mistake, having a good memory definitely has its down side.