A Hero Wannabe

I want to be a hero. I've wanted to be a hero all my life, beginning in childhood. A lot of people want to be heroes, I'm not alone. Just to be clear, giving blood, or social volunteering does not count. Such deeds are noble, but they aren't the acts of heroism I'm referring to. I think it was when Atlanta hosted the Olympic Games, some ordinary guy heroically moved people away from a bomb that had been planted in a public place. The police believed the bomb had been planted by the alleged hero in an attempt to make himself a hero. Not surprising; heroism can be a motive for crime. It turned out that the man did not plant the bomb. He would have been viewed as a hero except for the police errantly raining on his parade. Talk about bad luck.

A few days ago a small but powerful storm swept through my neighborhood. In my boundless wisdom, I went outside to witness it. The storm contained almost no rain but there were winds of up to 70 MPH. A huge tree crackled and fell a few doors away from where I was standing. It crashed on a condo's east side at the approximate site of that condo's patio. From where I was standing I could not see how much damage was done or if there were any injuries.

Fearlessly I quickly hurried over and fought my way through the maze of tree limbs and debris to where the condo patio had once been located. The patio fence was destroyed, as were a table and some chairs, but no one had been on the patio and there were no injuries. It was my chance, I could have been a hero, but no, the fates were against me.

So as luck would have it, I was not a hero, at least not an obvious hero. Still, when some of the residents gathered around the fallen tree a short time later after the storm had passed, I explained in a modest tone but in splendid detail how I had seen the tree fall and had quickly rushed over to check for casualties. I figured that if I could not be a full-blown hero, maybe I could be a limited one.

Naturally, no one was interested. I guess acts of near heroism don't mean much. Still, I yet have hope. In a half hour or so I'll be headed to a convenience store. Maybe it'll be in the process of being robbed and I can single-handedly apprehend the crook. Yeah, on second thought, I don't know if I want to be a hero that badly.